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Literature Text
I am a deciduous tree
Growin from my roots individual-ly.
From the stump
Up from the trunk
And out sproutin' branches
Weavin'
Reason for each season
Spring's in.
I blossom,
Shower me in flowers
Because I feel damn awesome.
Squirrels cuddle me-
Synonymous to girls lovin' me-
No need to get the mud off me-
Livin off of the puddle Be-
Cause, I got chlorophyll
On the forest hill
And any inch of growth
Is more than a chore I killed.
Fall's around the corner, and I can still breathe,
But it hurts because all my leaves...leave.
Weather's ranging, colors changing.
Like an abstract painting.
Picture framing
Leaves to the floor
The wind and rakes score.
I have no eyes but I can feel a departure,
Then winter hits the door, I become a skeleton
Any signs of life, I am repellin' it..
My branches broke 'cause they're delicate
My birds flyin' with seagulls, pelicans.
And it's so cold that my bark is sub-degree
Carry extra layers if you wanna come with me.
Dare me to sleep past February.
Spring's back around it's time for clarity
Growin from my roots individual-ly.
From the stump
Up from the trunk
And out sproutin' branches
Weavin'
Reason for each season
Spring's in.
I blossom,
Shower me in flowers
Because I feel damn awesome.
Squirrels cuddle me-
Synonymous to girls lovin' me-
No need to get the mud off me-
Livin off of the puddle Be-
Cause, I got chlorophyll
On the forest hill
And any inch of growth
Is more than a chore I killed.
Fall's around the corner, and I can still breathe,
But it hurts because all my leaves...leave.
Weather's ranging, colors changing.
Like an abstract painting.
Picture framing
Leaves to the floor
The wind and rakes score.
I have no eyes but I can feel a departure,
Then winter hits the door, I become a skeleton
Any signs of life, I am repellin' it..
My branches broke 'cause they're delicate
My birds flyin' with seagulls, pelicans.
And it's so cold that my bark is sub-degree
Carry extra layers if you wanna come with me.
Dare me to sleep past February.
Spring's back around it's time for clarity
Verse 1 of Cold Heat.
© 2012 - 2024 DTKinetic
Comments9
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individually doesn't require a dash, but leave it if you were trying to emphasize the syllable. I don't understand the dots (I know there's a term for that but I totally forget it right now) in the first line. It seems a bit unneeded to me. Line 12 seems to be a bit too long compared to the lines before it, and the flow is ever so slightly disrupted (I think it's from the for synonymous), but that doesn't really create a problem. It's just a little nitpick. Line 20 I don't think needs the dots. It pauses the flow a bit. You may ignore or use my suggestions. It doesn't matter. With poetry, it's mostly only opinions.
I like the flow of this and I wish it was split up into stanzas (verses rather) because then it would seem more song like. This seems to be very poetry slam like to me than a song. I really did like how it turned into in the end. This is truly a great read, great job!
I like the flow of this and I wish it was split up into stanzas (verses rather) because then it would seem more song like. This seems to be very poetry slam like to me than a song. I really did like how it turned into in the end. This is truly a great read, great job!